The Next Chapter in my Life!!!

2010 in a Nutshell

2010-12-13T02:50:00.006-05:00

Well, it has been so long since i have posted on here! A lot has changed in my life over this past year and a half. The most obvious that everyone knows it I made my way home back to Bakersfield from NJ, thank goodness! I did not like that place at all! So my Mom came and picked me up and we packed up and left! On the way home I did pick up the most amazing adorable dog you have ever seen! My little Honey.... she was a Yorkie poodle with all the love in the world to give! She was everything to me. But the sad news is I had her in my life for a little over a year. Unfortunately she is gone and her spirit lives with me everyday. She held me together for this last 8 months of crazy life I have been going through. Since I have been home I have worked for RJ's as a server and then i got the chance to work for Coach as a seasonal manager last year. I was so excited to work there! This had been my dream for so long to be in a boutique. I loved it! Well the season ended and I thought I was still serving for me but God was on my side and a position opened up in the store for a Co manager position and I interviewed and got the permanent full time job!!! I was so stoked you don't even know! So i am currently still here at Coach and loving my job everyday!

A bit of craziness Michael and I are no longer together as of April 2010. This was really hard in the beginning. I spent the last almost 4 years planning my entire life with him, and it was ripped away. But in these last few months I have discovered myself more that I ever thought that I would. Of course I was hurt and confused and depressed and on and on..... But then it all hit me one day that the person I thought he was really wasn't him all along. So many things I discovered and just thought to myself that love really is blind. I invested so much into this relationship that I forgot to think about all those things that were really important to me. I was in love with the fact that he was planning our future in his mind and on paper but he could never seem to make if official. I have learned so much out of this in all a positive way that it has molded me into an even better friend and future girl friend for someone someday. I do wish him the best and happiness. The best thing that came out of this relationship for me was I have made some of the most amazing friendships through him that I would have never known. Jenny has been more than a friend to me, she has become a sister. Her kids are so dear to my heart and her husband James has even been a great friend and listener even though he's best friends with Michael. Heather and I have been friends the whole time Michael and I were together and we have just grown into her being one of my best friends. I came out of this with new friends who have been there for me like no other. I thank them both for that because I know it had to be hard being friends with both of us in a time like that. I love you guys like sisters! All of my other Friends.... you all know who you are! were my towers of strength also. I could have not gotten through this if it wasn't for all your support and love! I knew that I had a good friends but you all have some much love to give and I will always give the same support you have given me. Liza and Stewie have been so awesome with me, i love my hetero sexual life partner, my Fusband and my Fids! I don't think I would be complete with out you all! Brooke, John, Kristal... we love wine:30! you all listened even when I was just repeating my self over and over. But you all made me stronger and were awesome to just be there for me. My Shanda Jean..... it was God putting us together through this hard time to be here and support one another, love you girl! And the rest of you have been so amazing with all your love and support.

In the midst of all this and feeling like my life has been flipped, launched and tossed all over. I lost my Honey and even my dog sister. We had to put her down 2 days after Honey died because she attacked our other dog. It was so hard but it was the right thing to do. I have felt like when is this year going to be over! But my life has changed so much that I feel right now that I am the happiest I have been in a REALLY long time. I have had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, I no longer feel stressed out everyday about my relationship. I have been focusing on me and doing what I want. So since April i have lost over 30lbs and feeling great. I recently became a Feagan( a fake vegan as Glitter and I like to say). usually 6 days a week I eat strict vegan only, non dairy, no meat or any by product of any living animal of being. I know I sound crazy but I love the way I feel and look. It is extremely hard especially when you are a huge steak lover!!! But it gives me something to focus on and keeps me going! My friends and family all think I'm crazy but they really help and support me in this and that's what has made this so much easier to do. Believe me I REALLY miss CHEESE!!!!!

So now I am just being free and loving life. In these past few months I have really got into mountain biking with Shanda and her family. I love it! I honestly helps me clear my mind every time I go. Plus its such a great workout. So after Christmas I plan on buying a new bike for me! I feel so determined lately to do stuff I have never wanted to do. Like... run a marathon. I don't know why but I have this urge to do it! I just feel alive right now and I'm loving my life.

Over all things are really good, my family is doing really well. The kids are growing up so fast and Aunt Sparkle is so sad they are getting bigger! Christmas is coming and I'm looking forward to making new memories over this holiday season and taking 2011 head on! This is going to me MY year I can feel it! I love you all and I hope this fills you in!

Jersey Update

2009-07-15T18:08:00.010-04:00

Well..... that's all I have to say about this place!!! Its soooo different, seriously I totally see why people don't leave Cali!! I wish I didn't!!! Work has been the hardest month in my retail career ever. I have had the hardest time wearing every single hat. I was the Store Manager, the co manager, the in store visual Merchandiser, training manager and a sales assoc, and still trying to live a normal life in a new area. It was soo difficult and still has been these last few weeks. But most recently I have had an asst manager quit no notice and earlier that week the other asst turned in her two weeks. I was going to go bald!!! I wanted to rip my hair out!! But, amazingly a guy walked in the same day because the store he worked at just closed and he lost his job. What a complete blessing! He started today as my New Asst Manager!! Thank goodness one down and one to go. The 4th was fun but very weird. It was a first without any type of family around at all. It was really hard and kind of depressing. I missed the kids swimming and having a BBQ with friends and Family. I missed Eric cooking something he found in his cancer causing cookbook( its a cook book from Marlboro). I miss talking with my sis in law about how ridiculous my bro can me. But most of all I missed the love surrounding me. This has been a harder experience that I ever thought it was going to be. I never realized how much it mean to me to always be around for the people that mean the most to me. One of the sadist days so far was missing Liza's baby girl Teagan being born. I cried and was so upset that I couldn't be there for such an important day in her life. And the fact that I don't get to hold her till she 3 months old. It was a very hard day but she knows how much I was there in spirit. And then there is Michael.... wow I haven't seen him in a little over 2 months now. I cant believe that. I miss him a ton. I was soo desperately hoping that he would make it for the 4th but he couldn't. That's was such a bummer. But I know this was and experience I had to take so I wouldn't wonder what if in the future. Work has been improving each day and I know it will get better. We have a really big visit soon in Aug with the owner of the company. I just want to shock him and have an amazing store. So wish me luck!! But my personal life is hanging by a thread. I thank God everyday that i have Sarah out here to have a friend, and she is going through the same thing. I'm Glad i can be here for her too. Andrew who is Sarah Fiance is in the Coast Guard and just left for 2 months again. She wont see him till a week before they get married in Sept. I can imagine that. So i happy that we can help one another through this hard, crazy experience in our lives.

Ok well some positives are I just got this amazing beach cruiser and I totally love it!! isn't it the cutest bike. Tell me why it was so hard to spend $300 on a bike but I can buy shoes and handbags like nothing( for those who know me well understand what i mean) It was the hardest decision but now I am glad I did! i love going on rides with Sarah and saving on gas around town.

We Cruise to the beach, which by the way you have to pay for them here!??? Crazy right?? when have we ever had to pay to go on a beach?? ummm NEVER!!! But its been nice living right down the street from it! Ocean City has a very Cali feel to the area and its kind of like Santa Monica and Newport. There is a really cool boardwalk and all kinds of rides shopping and restaurants. They have the most amazing pizza out here and the best cheesesteaks! I love the Pizza steak its my two favorite things in one a sandwich and pizza!!!

The hardest thing is everyday I wake up wanting to go home, then I have a better day at work and its not so bad until I have a bad encounter with a Jerz. That's what I call them. A Jerz. Oh ya I totally forgot that everyone, I mean everyone chews gum like crazy and smacks their gum in your face!! AHHH it makes me cringe thinking about it!! That is the number one thing that bugs me everyday. Even adults... I mean you're a human not a cow. chew with your mouth closed. ugh!

I didn't finally get a bed! yay!! and this huge dresser from ikea. And if you have ever put together anything from Ikea you def understand its a process of pictures and huhs??? I took me 4 hours!! But I was super proud of myself after that. So slowly but surely I am getting settled. Another amazing thing about out here is that there is no sales tax on essential items like clothing, food, shoes. That so totally rocks!! i love it! Plus I just got the Wii Active and it rocks! I did it for around 20 min and I was so sore the next day! I love it!! You all have to try it!

More than anything I'm so Glad that I have a hobby. It may be sewing but this is the last Blanket I made for Teagan and her new one is on the way!! Its too cute I can't wait to send it to Liza and Teagan! its sooo cute. I will post a pic when its complete and after she gets it!

More than anything....... I miss all of you reading this. I miss hearing Bitties run up and saying my name, i miss watching Squeaker fight with Bitties, I miss seeing Danielle and Taylor in their swim meets, my grandma and grandpa, my Mom and I just watching TV together and my dad and I arguing because we are soo much alike. Well not so much arguing but just my Dad. Even those that i didn't hang out with all the time but the fact is i really appreciate everything i have ever done with all of you. And thank you soo much to those of you praying for me during this hard time. It has helped more than you know. I am making sure that i take each day as it goes and just hope for the best and when the time is right I will be on my way home or who knows??? Believe me I wish I knew. For the first time in my life I really don't know what I want to do right now. It's really hard and I'm letting go and letting God. I still feel I was supposed to take this opportunity to learn something and I don't want to give up by all means but I just want to be happy.

That's what I have for now but hopefully it will get better!!

I LOVE AND MISS YOU ALL!!!!

♥Me!

xoxo

My First Month in New Jersey!!!

2009-06-04T11:55:00.000-04:00

Well, It has been completely insane since the moment I left! Lets start from the beginning shall we. We left Bakersfield on a Sunday evening and headed for Albuquerque, NM. Michael wanted to make a hotel there that we had booked earlier that he was doing whatever it took to get there and not lose that reservation or money. And then, whoop whoop, red and blue lights in the rear view and we were not even out of California yet!!! For those of you who know Michael's driving, this was the funniest thing that has ever happen to this date!!! I could not stop laughing!!! So Michael received his first speeding ticket ever!! He was really going 90 in a 65!!! but the copper was nice and gave him a ticket for 85. I'm so sorry Michael I had to tell the world!!!!

But wait it gets even better. So we are driving along I had fallen asleep and then I woke up because Michael got off the road and we weren't moving anymore. So he took the wrong exit to get gas and we were on the wrong freeway. We are trying to read all the signs to get back to the I 40 and all of a sudden it was forth of July in the rear view mirror again! Michael got pulled over just as we were getting on the freeway. I was dying! Well the cop was totally cool and he gave Michael a warning. This one was Innocent, we were driving in a business area and didn't know the posted speed limit and we were to busy trying to find the freeway entrance! So in less that 4 hours of driving Michael received a speeding ticket and and

warning for speeding. This is so priceless!

Well the rest of the trip went really smooth! We drove straight through NM to San Antonio! That was a drive! I drove like 15 hours or something like that!! We had dinner with Uncle Jean and Aunt Kris and then headed to Ft Worth the next morning to see Leslie and had dinner with her! Leslie was the best because one; I had only 5 Cd's in the car the first 24 hours of driving! I didn't get a chance to get my Cd's from Liza before i left and we were listening to Britney Spears, Danity Kane, some mixed CD i had and a Disney Love song soundtrack. Ahh dying right?! well I told Leslie about it and she was all over it! Leslie and her roommate burned us like 20 different compilation Cd's and some single albums like lady gaga, Duffy and more! she was such a life savor for the rest of the trip! So we finally had some good music and then we headed up to Oklahoma to see the all the Family in good ole Stigler, OK .

Everyone was waiting for us and i was so excited to see my grandparents and all my Aunts and Uncles! I miss seeing my cousins like I used to growing up! But I was glad that Michael was able to be there with me and meet everyone that he hasn't met yet! It was awesome! The sad part was that we just were only spending the night then going on to Nashville the next day. I really don't like leaving family. But on to the country capital of the world and we met my friend Russell for dinner! It was so awesome seeing him. I hadn't seen him in around 5 years. He made us an awesome meal and we hung out for about 2 hours and then headed to Knoxville,TN. The drive was so beautiful and I wish we had more time in every state we drove through. Finally after all the driving we arrived in Philly. This was our stopping point for both of us. We stayed in a good hotel in a sketchy area. But apparently all of Philly is sketchy. Well Michael had a couple friends from CT meet us there and we were able to visit and have dinner before Michael had to fly home on sat morning. Saturday morning that was a sad day. I dropped Michael off and then that's when it all hit me what i was really doing. I had no idea anymore. I couldn't understand why I was willingly putting my family and friends in such sadness and pain. For those of you who know Michael, he is not a very showing emotional guy, like most guys but he is less than normal. I couldn't believe the emotions that came out of him when we were saying goodbye. I had to drive the rest of the way by myself to New Jersey and wow, I could hardly drive. I cried for about 2 hours straight. Then I went to see my Boss and I felt so bad because he said how are you and I fell apart all over again. Thank God that i had a friend I was going to be living with here in NJ or i think i would have been ready to come home! That was a really hard weekend because I wasn't working yet and I was so confused to what I was doing. Now I wish I could go back and not be working cause I have been go go go since i started work on May 11. I love that I have been so busy or else I would be a huge wreck but as the weeks went by I became a little more of myself again everyday.

Well, work is now up and rolling! My first two weeks out i had been training my 3 new managers for my store in Mays Landing, NJ. We were working in Freehold, NJ waiting to get into our store. So the last few week were consumed with Flying back to OK to surprise my Mom and family for my cousin Shelly's graduation, doing lots of interviews, hiring, orientation and this last week setting up our store to open on June 3. For that last week i have been working 12-14 hour days to ensure my team and store is ready to go!!! Well its June 4 and we did open and it was fabulous! I have some really amazing employees and I'm excited to start a new working family! We blew our first day away and are setting our goals high to take over the East Coast for the # 1 District. Well that is a little bit of what i have been doing. My life is a whole new adventure right now. I haven't even had a moment to do anything in New Jersey since I got here. I live in Ocean City, NJ and its super cute and has a Santa Monica feel with a board walk and ferris wheels (ooh that makes my palms sweaty thinking about those). Its a beautiful area. The one thing I have learned is the weather is unpredictable, I will have allergies a lot and I will never be really healthy because the weather changes so much my body is confused! No but I have learned to enjoy the rain more and I actually walked home in it last night!!

Lastly, I love and miss you all! I am going to keep this going either once a month or each week. Just keep checking back and I will have Pictures up soon!! I cant wait to see everyone again!! Keep In touch and I will too!!!!

Joining Blogland

2009-06-01T21:18:00.000-04:00

Miss you sista!!